


Holiday Schmolidays

by skinsuit



Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Explicit Language, Multi, TW: drinking, stanchez
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-18 16:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18123656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skinsuit/pseuds/skinsuit
Summary: Some short fics I'm writing about Stan, Rick and Co. celebrating the holidays.





	1. Purim

Ford groaned at the not so gentle shoulder prodding, he was asleep. 

“Stanley stop it,” He mumbled.

“C’mon Sixer, wake up it’s Purim!” Stan exclaimed.

Ford blinked. “Stanley, I’m an atheist.” 

Stan gave him another punch to the shoulder. “Yeah me too, but hey it’s an excuse to get shitfaced and wear a costume.”

Ford blinked and looked up at his brother… Stan was wearing a chartreuse satin strapless prom dress and his face was painted to look like a tiger? Stan was holding a half empty bottle of vodka. Ford groaned it was early for colors so loud.

“You’re already drunk aren’t you?” Ford sighed.

“And you’re not?” Stan said.

Ford considered his options. Celebrating what? Esther liberating the jews? Did it matter? “Give me that bottle Stanley-”

“Awww, Sixer,” Stan groaned. “Way to be a buzzkill—“

“And a tiara, I’m in.”

Stan chuckled and handed over the vodka, Ford took a swig and Stan cheered. As the warmth of the vodka flooded him, and the buzz started. He thought that this might be fun, like bonding with Stan. 

That’s when a green swirl portal swirled and Rick Sanchez leapt out of it wearing a blue tutu and holding a bottle of something brown. His hapless grandson followed “HEEYYYY STAN!”

“HEY RICK! You remembered!” Stan said giving Rick a hug.

“Remembered what? It’s Thursday, right?” Rick said.


	2. Part 2: Hallelujah is NOT a Christmas song.

Mabel never expected this, she just wanted to do a bit of holiday shopping with her family and Stan’s boyfriend’s family…Mostly it was watch them and see what kind of sweater she should make them. So Morty’s was definitely going to be yellow…she wasn’t paying attention to the music playing in the background…..

“WHAT THE FUCK! HALLELUJAH IS NOT A CHRISTMAS SONG!” Stan was screaming in the face of the cashier in the front.

“It’s in the holiday playlist sir,” the cashier replied, cool as a cucumber.

“Why the F—“ Stan looked around realized the twins were present. “—EVER LOVING WAFFLES is it in THERE?!”

“It’s part of the algorithm,” the cashier said, silently pressing a button under the counter. 

 

Dipper was cringing, Morty was hiding behind a clothes rack, Summer looked blasé but had pulled out her phone. Rick didn’t seem to be paying attention just shoplifting a bottle of cologne. 

“I’LL ALGORITHM YOU!” Stan yelled fists clenched.

That’s when Rick suddenly appeared at Stan’s side. 

“Stan he’s not worth it, this place is filled with boring earth shit anyhow.” Rick said. 

Stan seemed to calm down in Rick’s presence.

“—yeah what he said.” Stan repeated.

“—This store sucks, kids we’re leaving.” Rick said.

So they left. Mabel was a bit disappointed, she had seen a scarf she thought Rick’s son-in-law what’s his name would like…but maybe now they were in Rick’s spaceship it would calm down.

‘HALLELUJAH ISN’T A FUCKING A CHRISTMAS SONG! IT’S ABOUT A BREAK UP, ANY MORON WHO LISTENS TO THE LYRICS KNOWS THAT!” Stan ranted. “ALSO- ALSO LEONARD COHEN IS JEWISH, WHY THE FUCK WOULD A JEW WRITE A CHRISTMAS SONG?! AND IT’S NOT ONE, CUZ IT’S ABOUT A BREAK UP AND DAVID WAS THE KING OF ISREAL AND… AM I THE ONLY ONE WITH EARS LEFT ON THIS PLANET?!”

“Hey everyone, let’s change the topic?” Mabel asked trying to sound cheery.

She was really hoping Rick, who was good at shutting down Stan’s rants would chime in. 

“Well, Pines is right, it shouldn’t be Christmas song, why not include that ya know Nick Cave song about freezing to death while we’re at it.” Rick said. 

“EXACTLY!” Stan said. “wait… there is a song about that?”

Rick looked at Stan. “Pines, when we get back to my place I’m gonna hack pandora, Spotify and every other streaming music service and take it off there, I’ll even take off, instrumental holiday covers, cuz it’s not a fucking Christmas song.”

“You’d do that for me Sanchez?” Stan said, eyes lighting up.

“No, it’s for people with brains Stan.” Rick said.

But Stan kissed him anyways.

So they ended up at the Smith’s house. Mabel and other kids played Cards Against Humanity. While the adults made awkward small talk. Stan was on a better mood after picking that son-in-law’s pocket (he never found out ever).  
The adults made small talk, and drank. 

“You really seem to like Christmas, Jerry,” Stan said. Jerry, so that was the guy’s name!

“Well, it’s one of my favorite holidays, its about family, and I love decorating, cooking, but I really love the music.”

Rick smirked. “What’s your favorite Christmas song Jerry?”

“Ugh, Rick why are asking this, you know it’s Hallelujah, Rick.” Jerry said.

That’s when all hell broke loose. So much for a peaceful holiday season.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My views on Hallelujah are exactly the same as Stan's and Ricks. In fact it inspired me to write this.


End file.
